Jane B Swimming in the Sea

My big terrifying swim

Swim ? ?

Sunday 3 December 2023

OMG! That was the biggest swim ever. I swallowed 3 big mouthful of water really was out of breath, but kept powering through; the lifeguards were amazing my goggles fogged up for the first 3 times in, we learnt how to duck under the waves how to get down and grab the sand, it was really rough out there! There were lots of waves breaking over us. We had to swim quite a distance out to get to the sandbar at the end of the class. We had 7 minutes so I went out again,  following Pete and the gang. I made it past the sandbar to the big waves at the back!!!

It was an incredible feeling. I was really breathless, and found it difficult to catch my breath. There were lots of times. I just wanted to cry. In fact, there was a moment there where  I just wanted to sob, but I didn’t have the breath to be able to break down and cry hysterically, which is what I wanted to do! So, I just kept swimming.

I am looking forward to increasing my breathing technique. Also learning how to get air in my lungs without opening my mouth and a wave hitting me straight in the face as I surface again after the last wave,  almost out of breath and then opening my mouth to grab air and being hit with a wall of water and swallowing it, not only am I not getting air, but the sting of the salt water on my oesophagus, the salt water hitting the pit of my stomach and wanting to retch, but no time for much of anything, I’m disoriented and all I know is keep going! And truly feeling like I’m very close to drowning! (No exaggeration here!) 

On the way back in the rip was really strong, and I was actually exhausted, so thank God for the lifeguards. Charles helped me in at one point, and then the other lifeguard twice as I was caught in the rip and exhausted. 

Once back on the sand with the team, I was struggling even to get my goggles off! I kept feeling like not only was vomit from all the salt water. I had so swallowed, but I also felt like I was gonna faint as I was so exhausted Thinking about it now and reflecting back, I also wanted just to fall on the sand and burst into tears.

The most astounding thing happened. Lots of guys from the team were telling me how brave I was going out to the big waves and they couldn’t believe it; that I just kept swimming. Hearing them say this was amazing, as I was unaware,  as I was in delirium and just thought everybody was out there!

It is so great swimming with the Cantoo team. And here I was thinking I didn’t even want to go in for that last swim, I wanted to use old behaviour and just say “right I’m exhausted, I’ve done enough for today”Every bone in my body wanted me to NOT go back in.

But I thought, I’m gonna do something different this time I will just push myself and do it, precisely because I don’t want to! Look what happened I made it out to those humongous waves.

There was a moment there, where I went under the water, and I just saw this mountain of water, rising over, and above me as I was underneath, down by the sand, and I thought this is what surfers see, and I could understand the joy of being in the ocean, with these humongous waves. I was also  scared I’d not have enough air to get back up outta that wave and back to shore. But, I knew there were 3 incredible lifesavers to get me back to shore. 

I’m looking forward to learning how to read the water,  where the rips are, and which way to swim!

As when I was coming in, I was just so delirious and tired and full of salt water which I’d swallowed that I had no idea which way I was swimming or which way the rip was going I was just trying to get back to shore.

After having a shower and meeting the guys for coffee. I walked back to the table and sat down , and they were saying they needed to take a leaf out of my book as I was fearless and brave swimming out to the big waves they said they needed to be more like me !  ? and I said I had no idea what I was doing, I was delirious + had no idea where I was going just that I needed to keep going because Pete was out there saying swim now … after the 28th wave had broken over me and I could see him and the team in the clear big water with no crashing waves and Charles was saying next to me keep swimming Jane. What rockstar Peter the coach and Charles surf lifesaver. Couldn’t done it without them. 

It’s Sunday morning, and I am absolutely exhausted!  After writing this, I have no comprehension of how I’ll go out there again next week, as it feels so incredibly daunting, scary is an understatement. I don’t want to write terrifying as it puts it in my ether, do I’ll  stick with daunting and just know that, I’ve got the best team and support to learn how to do this. And I did it once, and practice does make it, if not perfect, more proficient.

Here’s to day on terra- firma recovering ! 

EXHAUSTED 

Nearly there …

Update … 14 weeks ago I couldn’t swim 

100 metres freestyle- I was terrified of rips in the Ocean (still am …  each week, 3 times a week,  I train with Cantoo coaches, mentors,and the wonderful  surf life savers x3 when we practice at Bondi and of course my fantastic 1km team mates .

I am swallowing less pool water and sea water and just hope I’ll figure out this swimming capper,  before the 1KM Ocean Swim ? we will all do together.

Thanks for your help and support.

A big shout out to the fabulous Emma at work who told me about Cantoo and encouraged me to sign up! A coach for many years with Cantoo.  Such a phenomenal organisation. Thanks Emma. Big hugs. Can’t wait to see you.

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